Today, my leadership was tested. I called into my values and courage (BIG TIME) and decided to do a Jools Lebron (from TikTok). I said to myself that I was going to be “Very Demure, Very Mindful.” I knew this would keep me focused on staying calm and sassy.
“One thing you need to learn about being demurity, about being demure –– being demure is being mindful, and being mindful includes your backing self,” Jools says. “Chase those dreams. Be responsible. Be mindful, be demure and never let anyone dull your shine.”*
*this has been edited to take out some swear words
Want to know more and be super awesome? Be demure; be mindful.
Being a Super Leader (and incredible human) who is very demure and mindful involves leading with quiet strength, humility, and deep awareness. This type of leadership is characterised by a gentle approach that inspires trust and respect while being fully present and considerate of the needs of others.
Here’s how to embody this unique style of leadership:
1. Lead with Humility and Grace
Modest Confidence: Be confident in your abilities but humble in your actions. Share credit with your team and recognise their contributions. Lead by example, showing that you don’t need to be loud or assertive to be effective.
Gentle Authority: Exercise your authority in a calm, composed manner. Make decisions thoughtfully and consider the impact on everyone involved. Use a soft but firm approach when guiding your team.
2. Cultivate Deep Listening and Empathy
Active Listening: Pay close attention to what your team members say and don’t say. Listen to understand, not just to respond. This builds trust and shows that you value their input.
Empathetic Responses: Respond to your team’s needs with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge their feelings and provide support where necessary. This mindful approach creates a compassionate and inclusive work environment.
3. Practice Mindful Decision-Making
Intentional Actions: Before making decisions, take a moment to reflect on the potential outcomes. Please consider the long-term effects on your team and organisation. This ensures that your choices are thoughtful and aligned with your values.
Balanced Perspective: Maintain a balanced view by considering different perspectives before acting. This mindful approach helps you make fair and well-rounded decisions.
4. Foster a Calm and Focused Environment
Create Space for Reflection: Encourage your team to take time for reflection and mindfulness. This can be through quiet workspaces, mindful breaks, or encouraging practices like meditation or journaling.
Manage Stress Gracefully: Stay calm and composed in high-pressure situations. Your ability to remain unruffled under stress will set a positive example and help your team stay focused.
5. Empower Through Encouragement
Uplift Others Quietly: Offer encouragement and support quietly, unassumingly. Remember your team members’ strengths and help them grow by providing opportunities and guidance.
Lead by Supporting: Be the leader who lifts others rather than seeking the spotlight. This demure approach fosters a culture of mutual respect and collaboration.
6. Exude Calm Confidence
Steady Presence: Be a constant, calming influence in your organization. Your presence should bring stability and reassurance to your team.
Quiet Strength: Demonstrate strength not through force or loudness but resilience, patience, and consistency. This quiet confidence will inspire and motivate others.
7. Inspire Through Thoughtful Communication
Soft-Spoken Yet Clear: Communicate your vision and expectations clearly but in a soft-spoken manner. Avoid being overly direct or forceful; use your words to guide and inspire.
Mindful Feedback: Provide feedback in a constructive and supportive way. Be cognizant of how your words might be received, and tailor your communication to be kind, helpful and encouraging.
8. Maintain Personal Balance
Self-Care and Reflection: Regularly engage in self-care practices to maintain your own mental and emotional balance. This will help you stay grounded and amazing as a leader.
Mindful Leadership Practices: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily leadership routine. Whether it’s through meditation, conscious breathing, or simply taking a moment to pause and reflect, these practices will enhance your ability to lead with clarity and compassion.
By integrating these principles into your leadership style, you can become a super leader who is both demure and mindful, leading with quiet strength, deep empathy, and thoughtful presence. This approach builds a strong, cohesive team and creates a positive, supportive, and mindful organisational culture.
Now, here are our tips on being very demure and cheeky simultaneously. You need to master the art of subtlety with a playful twist. This combination is about maintaining a modest and reserved exterior while sneaking in a cleverly hidden touch of humour or sass.
Characteristics of Being Very Demure and Sassy:
- Soft-Spoken with a Hint of Sass: Speak gently and modestly, but add a slight, playful twist to your words. For example, if someone asks you a question, you might respond with a sweet smile and a softly delivered, “Well, I wouldn’t want to brag, but… maybe just a little.”
- Innocent Expressions with Playful Glances: Keep your facial expressions composed and serene, but let your eyes talk. A quick, playful glance or a barely-there wink can add the right amount of cheekiness without breaking your demure character.
- Modest Appearance with a Quirky Touch: Dress in an understated and elegant way, but include a small, unexpected detail—a quirky accessory, a hint of unexpected colour, or a playful pattern that peeks out.
- Polite Teasing: Use kind and gentle humor. For example, in a conversation, you might say, “Oh, I would never assume you meant that… unless, of course, you did,” paired with a soft laugh or a knowing smile.
- Understated Gestures with a Playful Edge: Your movements should be graceful and composed. However, you can add a touch of cheekiness with a playful gesture—a slight exaggeration in a wave or a tiny, mischievous shrug.
Examples:
Conversation:
Someone asks, “Did you finish the report?”
You respond, “Of course I did… eventually,” with a soft laugh and a modest smile, implying a little story behind it but leaving it to their imagination.
Compliments:
When receiving a compliment, you might say, “Oh, you’re just being kind,” followed by a cheeky smile that suggests you know they mean it.
Interactions:
If someone teases you, you can respond, “Well, I suppose I’ll let that slide… this time,” while maintaining a calm demeanour.
This balance of demure and cheeky creates a charming and unique personality—someone who is modest and graceful but has a spark of playful wit that keeps things interesting. It’s about hinting at humour or sass without being overt, letting your charm shine subtly.
Breathe…you got this!
Who is with me?
Great Humans make Great Leaders
